Yesterday was my 45th birthday. I woke up on Tuesday, excited to see all the people in line to vote, sure that the next day not only would I be celebrating my birthday, but also the election of the first woman president. Instead, I woke up with dread and the most real fear I have ever experienced. I spent the day fighting back tears, sometimes winning the fight; often not. I’m not simply upset that my candidate didn’t win, it is more than politics for me and for so many others.

I am a woman. The President-elect is a man who thinks women are play things, his to assault because he can’t control himself. Unless of course, they aren’t a 10, in which case they are a disgusting pig. He has said that employing women presents a hardship to employers. 

I am a lesbian. The President-elect has said that I don’t deserve the right to marry the one I love, that I am a second class citizen, and he wants to take that right away. Many have said “Hillary doesn’t believe in gay marriage either…” I understand this is true, but she wasn’t threatening to take it away. The Vice President-elect, believes that my lesbianism can be “cured” through shock-treatments. These men have given validation to those who wish to not only take away these hard won rights, but who wish to harm those who would fight for them.

I am currently enrolled in healthcare through “Obamacare”. This is a choice that I made, I quit a job that provided health care, so that I could pursue my passion. He doesn’t believe this should be an option. I may be uninsured soon. I’m just thankful I don’t, at this time have a pre-existing condition that will prevent me from being insured at a later date.

I’ve been unimaginably lucky in my first 44 years. I haven’t feared much. Today I am afraid. I not only fear for myself, I fear for my friends, I fear for my family, I fear for those I’ve never met. You may not understand and you may tell me my fears will never see the light of day. And, it may turn out that you are right about that. But, right now; for me and for so many of us out there, they are very real fears. 



6 thoughts on “Fear…

  1. Carolee says:

    Amy, tonight I have no words. I think many of us are trying to process. We all need to pray or meditate or do whatever gives each of us peace. I am trying to do both. Much love to you.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. rebeccaashcraft says:

    I’ve been at my job for eight years and have never called in sick – until Wednesday. My co-workers would probably have called an ambulance, were it not for the post-election event that crawled into our lives the night before. Since that day, I’ve read comforting things from women who have banded together to become Love Warriors. Not militant, but no longer silent. Not willing to fall in line, but determined to hold the line. Sixty percent of the population is with us. We’ll be okay, Lovey.

    Liked by 1 person

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